“I’m tired, and I don’t feel like talking tonight. I just wanted to tell you I’m thinking of you.”
This feels a lot better on both sides than deciding not to call.
When we avoid saying the uncomfortable thing, we leave space for the other person to fill in the narrative. If we’re lucky enough to get the benefit of the doubt, the story they tell themselves is a good one.
But whether it is good or bad, it is unlikely to be entirely true. How could it be when we haven’t told the other person what’s in our own head?
We remove the uncertainty when we speak openly, sharing how we feel.
Too much of a good thing is true in many cases.
When it comes to communication though, more is almost always better.